The Art of Being Triggered

And Using It to Build a Deep Relationship Within

I built this life with intention. Not by accident, not by default—by conscious choice.

My relationships, my home, my marriage, my business, my community—it’s all aligned, not because life just worked out that way, but because I made it that way. I know myself. I know what I want. And I move with power to create the experiences that match that.

And then, life does what it does.

Something happens.
A conversation.
A situation.
A reaction.
A feeling in my body.
A thought.

Something that carries the residue of an old pattern, an old cycle, an old version of me.

In that moment, I have a choice:

• Do I let this energy pull me into survival? Do I react? Do I defend? Do I over-explain, effort, or spiral into old beliefs? Do I let fear, doubt, or scarcity take the lead? Do I tighten, resist, suppress, or avoid?

• Or do I expand? Do I take a breath? Do I go inward? Do I self-check? Do I sit with it, witness it, and let it show me something deeper about myself? Do I hold it without letting it define me? Do I use it to sharpen my alignment even more?

It’s not a test. It’s not some cosmic checkpoint. It’s just what happens when you’re alive and evolving.

People think the goal with growth/healing/transformation is to never get triggered again. That’s not it.
The goal is to understand yourself so deeply that when discomfort comes up, you know exactly what to do with it.

So, when I feel any trigger rising in me—frustration, tension, that little hook in my nervous system—I don’t resist it. I don’t make it mean more than it does.
I witness it. I welcome it.

The Trigger Is a Mirror

It’s never about the person or the situation.

It’s about what’s happening inside me.

I witness myself.

What does that actually mean?

It means I become the observer—the one who stands in my truth, fully present, while witnessing the other part of me that is moving through fear, chaos, and survival.

Instead of relating to every thought, emotion, or body sensation as who I am, I observe it as something separate from me—a part of me, yes, but not the full story.

It’s like I share my body and life experience with another version of me—one that holds the wounds, the stored trauma, the fear responses.

And instead of fighting it or silencing it, I witness it with compassion.

I separate myself from it, not to ignore it, but to see it clearly.

I don’t get wrapped up in the experience—I watch it unfold.

I recognize that there is a part of me reacting, but I also know I am more than just that reaction.

There’s the part of me that is feeling—the one that is triggered, activated, moving through old patterns.

And then there’s the part of me that is watching—the one that knows what’s happening, the one that has the ability to create space, slow down, and choose how to respond.

I witness my body—the tightness, the shifts, the immediate response to whatever just got triggered.

I witness my thoughts—the ones based in fear, doubt, and scarcity, the ones that try to convince me of old limitations.

I witness my emotions—the deep, sometimes unspoken feelings of unworthiness, rejection, abandonment.

I witness the old stories—the belief patterns I picked up from past trauma, the narratives I used to live by.

I see what’s still stored in my body.

And instead of making it about the person or circumstance, I go inward & make it about me.

I let the trigger speak.
I let the trigger be heard.
I let the trigger be my guide—because this is the part of me that needs my attention, love, & understanding.

And when I, as my expansive self, listen to this survival-based version of me—not from judgment, but from deep awareness—I can actually hold space for my own healing.

This is why the trigger is a mirror.

It’s showing you what is already in your body for YOU to tend to.

The Loop That Kept Me Stuck (And How I Broke Out)

There was a time when triggers, pain, and trauma consumed me.

I would react. I would spiral. I would get pulled into it and then stay in it.

And I didn’t have a solid enough relationship with myself to sit with it—because I had never been taught how to regulate my emotions or hold space for my own pain.

So, I avoided.
I suppressed.

I silenced.

I sabotaged.

I suffered.

I kept myself busy. I numbed out in distractions. I convinced myself that if I just kept moving, I wouldn’t have to feel what was inside me.

I told myself I couldn’t handle it and I would get swallowed up in the pain, forever.

But that? That was the lie that kept me stuck.

Because the second I actually sat with it all, breathed through it, witnessed it—I realized:

I can handle navigating my internal world.

Yes, it’s uncomfortable sometime.
Yes, it’s painful sometimes.
Yes, it feels like I might in fact get swallowed up.

But when I actually let myself go all the way through it, I came out on the other side stronger, clearer, and more in my power than I had ever been.

That’s how you break the loop.

You stop running from yourself.

You sit, you listen, and you move through it—and when you do that, you come out on the other side with a deeper connection within than ever before.

You are who you have been waiting for along.

How I Move Through It

I’ve spent years refining how I navigate these moments, because when you don’t have a system, you get caught in the loops.

This is the framework I live by:

1. Know Thyself.
I study myself. I know my survival responses. I know how I operate in expansion. I know how to pull myself back to center.

2. Recognize the Loop.
I don’t fall for the same triggers over and over—I see them. When an old response kicks in, I recognize it, and in that awareness, I create an opening for a different choice.

3. Get in Control of My Response.
Not by suppressing. Not by avoiding. But by witnessing myself, self-checking, and choosing my next move from power.

4. Transmute It Into Power.
Every time I move through a trigger, I get sharper. I get stronger. I turn discomfort into fuel for my own evolution.

Let Life Trigger You

This is the art of being triggered.

Not avoiding it.
Not numbing it.
Not suppressing it.
Not silencing it.

But letting life move through you. Letting the triggers show you where you need you.

When you stop avoiding what is weighing on you, when you stop making it about the person, the circumstance, the thoughts, or the emotions, you stop being distracted and start paying attention to what the trigger is actually communicating. The trigger is not here to hurt you—it is here to reveal where you still need to tend to yourself.

Triggers are simply an internal navigation system, guiding you to where your insides are asking for attention, care, love, reassurance, and understanding.

Not from anyone else.
Not from any external solution.
But from you.

Because you are both sides.

You are the part that holds the pain, and you are the part that holds the possibility.
And at all times, you have access to both.

When I allow the trigger to show me what is still stored in my body, what has yet to be processed, what is still seeking resolution, I strengthen my knowing of who I am.

I deepen my trust in what I can move through.

I build an unshakable internal relationship with myself—one where fear and doubt no longer control me but inform me.

I stop spending time overthinking, worrying, or being consumed by survival.
Because even when those feelings come up, I know exactly what to do with them.

I don’t suppress, avoid, or push them away.

I don’t externalize them or blame them on things outside of me.

I welcome them because I know how to be with them.

I recognize that the way I move through my hardships is the same way I will move through my blessings.

When you can go into yourself and handle your insides, you expand your capacity for receiving.

You expand your ability to hold everything life has to offer—both the challenges and the abundance.

So, when something comes up, instead of resisting, I say:

Fuck yeah. Another moment to fine-tune, to expand, to sharpen.

Because I don’t fear pain.
I don’t fear discomfort.
I don’t fear getting triggered.
I don’t fear challenges.

I invite it.

Because I know I can move through it.
I know I can process it.
I know I can handle it.

And that relationship within myself?

That is the most priceless thing of all.